Seeking Companionship

HEY eligible ladies! I'm taking over the blog. Someone (see pic below) is lookin' for love. View my profile following, if you can tear yourself away from my gorgeous eyes!

Lookin' for love tonight!

Profile

Name:                  Ethan James (E.J.)
Occupation:         Unemployed
Age:                     3 ~ 6 months
Eyes:                   Hazel or brown, it depends on how dim the lights are
Hair:                     Bald
Height:                 26 glorious inches
Weight:                12.5 pounds of solid muscle. That's just baby fat in my picture.
Rent or own?:      Live with my parents
Smoker?:             Smokin' hot!
Social drinker?:    Heavy drinker, 26 oz. of Similac a day!
Favorite pastime: I sleep 15 hours daily.


Describe yourself:
"I am a smooth cat ready for some good times with Miss Right. Be in my room tonight at 2 for my pah-taay! (Bring your own bottle, event sponsor not liable for cancellation due to unforeseen weather, uncooperative parents, or crying sister)."

What is your greatest ambition?:
"Right now I'm training for a triathlon. So far I've mastered the rollover from tummy to back. By the end of the year I'll be scootin' around on all fours. I should be ready in time for the 2032 Iron Man."

Describe your perfect match:
"I'm not finicky, but she has to have strong hands; that's a must. She has to hold that bottle for twenty minutes then have the stamina to dance with me 'til I burp. Oh yeah, then there is that incontinence issue too. She should be able to handle that."

Contact Information:
SmoovCat29@....

[Profile is incomplete. Server timed out. But the following exchange was heard in the background]

"Get off the computer EJ."

"But Dad..."

"Go to bed now."