Mittens

THE Wells' have a new blog post. You can navigate there from the link on the right under the heading "My Blog List." In a previous post, Jacqueline mentioned that one of their two (perhaps both) had a problem scratching him or herself (themselves).

The New Family Parents have the same problem with EJ. No amount of manicure work can eliminate the danger. His face has the scars as evidence. So, with apologies to the boy for violating his dignity, the Parents decided to buy him his own pair.

EJ naps on Mommy while wearing his mittens.

The mits are effective so far. The scratches are healing nicely.

Milestones

THE change was so slow, it seemed to happen in an instant.

The Twins can hold their heads up.

Dad was wondering when he would be able to carry either of them facing forward in the baby carrier strapped to his chest. The determinative factor is their ability to support their own head. So he gave it a try. They both were able to hold them up without assistance.

Dad tests EJs readiness to be carried facing forward. He passed.

The Moby is far more comfortable when worn without an undershirt. The straps of the Baby Bjorn irritate his skin. But since this was a brief trial, he endured. And, again, these guys are heat factories. When coupled with the hot weather, any additional layering quickly causes Dad and child to overheat.

Interestingly, EJ's hands are restricted from movement in this position, but EJ seems to prefer that rather than having them flail about. Dad has noted that when soothing son to sleep, holding his hands together helps him fall to sleep faster than without. It might be similar to swaddling. Liesel doesn't like her hands restrained. She prefers the freedom to flail. But then he is the passive surfer-dude personality and she is the control freak.

These two are about as identical as night and day. Dad once quipped that they are less like twins and more like siblings that by happenstance were born at the same time.

Tummy Time with EJ

"I don't like this. I don't like this one bit."

"It is not cute! Pick me up. Pick me up now!"

"Oh you are gonna pay. Just wait. I know when you sleep!"

Twin Fatherhood is...

When you reach into your pocket to pull out your wallet, and pull out a pacifier instead.

When you plan on doing something, and your twins laugh (at you).

When your car needs detailing, because it is covered in bibs, burp clothes, bottles, and baby stuff.

When you feel the need to explain to the checkout clerk that your expensive fine gauge knit polo is covered in "badges," not burp stains.

When perfect strangers stop you in public to wish you well and end their greeting with, "Good luck!"

When you finally have them fed and they are asleep, so innocent, so pure, and your heart swells up like it is going to explode. 

Baby DVDs

WELL that is interesting. The Twins are enthralled with a Baby Einstein video, and have been occupied with it for 10 consecutiveminutes. Don’t fly by that statement without fully appreciating the implications for the NF Parent’s liberty.

Entertaining the soon to be 11 week old Twins now consumes a good portion of the day. There are increasing periods were they don’t need anything in particular, diapers are clean, they are fed and burped, they are not yet ready for a nap, but they do fuss for Mom and Dad’s attention. Providing them with this attention is the joy parenting, but there are other needs to which the Parents must attend and constantly engaging them is fatiguing. The thought that they could occupy the Twins for more than a minute without having to be the source of entertainment is tantalizing.

As previously posted, Liesel is fascinated with the TV, but her attention is not held for very long watching network broadcasts. EJ is largely apathetic to it. He prefers to dwell on studying Mom and Dad's faces. Dad suspects the broadcast images are too complex to process and the sounds too intricate for them to focus on for very long. The videos, on the other hand, are very simple, with bright contrasting primary colors, and a soundtrack simple enough to (perhaps) be perceived as more than just noise. The video captured and held their attention for its (interrupted) duration. It made Liesel giggle and laugh while EJ just stared transfixed.

During the video, Dad could have gotten the mail, paid bills, microwaved dinner, visited the restroom, straightened up the house, finished and posted here-to-fore half-written blog posts, unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher, brushed his teeth, etc. Sadly, he did not take advantage of it this time; he was too awestruck by their reaction.

The Parent’s received these as a gift (Thank you Jen!). Dad would have passed on buying videos instead waiting until the Twins were older believing they wouldn’t be interested this soon. He is glad they have them.

Time

IT is amazing how a parent becomes aware of how long tasks take. Mom and Dad both have an increased perception of what 10, 20, 40 seconds are and a minute is because the time between points when one or both of the Twins demands attention can be very brief. Exceed that time and they'll let you know it with a howl.

"Liesel, can you give Dad 20 seconds to wash and sanitize his hands?" Dad might plead after a poopy diaper change. She might or might not depending on her mood, but Dad is extremely aware of the time he is away from her.

In 10 seconds, Dad can retrieve something from the other end of the house, provided he doesn't have to search for it.

In 20 seconds, he can prepare a bottle.

In 40 seconds, actually a very generous period, he can change a dirty diaper, put on a new onesie, and wash his hands.

In 1 minute, he can walk the trash out and get back to relieve Mom provided he doesn't encounter any friendly neighbors.

A four oz. bottle of prepared formula takes 10 seconds on high to heat in the microwave; 9 seconds longer than a hungry kid will wait.

It takes twenty minutes on average for Dad to run to Walgreens and buy baby aspirin.

Are you aware of the time it takes to complete certain tasks?

The Pink and the Blue.

Yes, she does. Daddy too!

And Mommy too!

Feeding the Troops

 WHAT does it take to feed the twins in a 24 period?

Soldiers at the ready.

Dead soldiers

The New Family Parents will go through a cabinet shelf of bottles every day. These will be washed, dried and prepared for the next feeding (the formula is measured and ready for mixing when needed). Other bottles are ready-to-feed (mixed) and waiting in the refrigerator.

No, it is not like the Duggars, but it still takes time, and is a task not easily done with a babe hanging on one's front (unlike blogging).

Feedings and other notes are recorded on the feed board.

Parents with recent experience feeding infants will notice that the New Family Parents are "demand" feeding, i.e. responding to a need to feed when the child demands it. This is opposite "schedule" feeding, when parents will only feed at specific times of the day. The Parents will begin transitioning to a schedule soon.

Milestones

THE Twins are becoming increasingly aware of their surroundings. They are particularly fascinated by the images and noise coming from the television. It holds their attention for several seconds.

Liesel enjoys watching TV more than EJ. He spends more time focused on Mom and Dad's face.

They now respond to loud noises and will wake if someone makes too loud of sound. Before they would only wake when the other cried.

They are sleeping longer periods at night. Soon the Parents will end their sleeping in shifts.

Babes in Bear Outfits

BEFORE the New Family Parents were married, Dad bought Mom a St. Valentine's Day gift certificate to Build-A-Bear.

Hey, you do those things when you dating. Hopefully, you still do similar things while married.

Here are the bears they bought. The male bear (dark brown) isn't naked from the waste up to be salacious. Rather, Dad was just to cheap to pay for an entire outfit. The gift certificate only covered Mom's bear.

Valentine's Day Bears

The bears have sat on a corner shelf all of these years. Mom hates dusting their outfits and so removed them. It is easier to vacuum them without their outfits on. Dad spied the bear's clothes on the dresser and had an idea.

These are just too adorable. Click the "Read more" embedded link to see the pictures.

Liesel relaxes in her Mom's bear's outfit. Dad just missed the fleeting smile.

EJ chills out. He, like his Dad, is too modest to go shirtless in public.

Dad has always been fond of bears. He still has one from his early childhood. Its tattered from the love of a toddler. It is pictured in the middle.

The windup music box (inside the bear), used to play This Old Man. It has long since seized. Dad left his favorite bear out in the rain one night as a child, so it might have rusted. While preparing for bed, he cried to Grandma that he needed his bear. She let him retrieve it from its place on top of the slide. Once comfortably snuggled in bed, Dad committed to bear that he would never lose him again. And this is one of only a few toys Dad still has from his early youth today.

Feeding Time

Yes, he does love Dad. Soon he'll be swinging those dumbbells around with Dad.

Ah, well. Daddy isn't getting back to the weights anytime soon. Might as well feed her too.

Look at that. She is putting on weight. She needs to get big and fat.

 They are both getting bigger and stronger. She can hold her weight on her legs a few seconds longer than he can, but he weighs more than she does and has a heavier load. Dad tries to work with them everyday. 

Sweet Serenity

AFTER 50 minutes of fussing, first the one, then the other, then both at the same time, they finally went down.

Usually the twins nap for a few hours in the afternoon, but today they were bundles of energy. They became overtired and started to fuss. EJ in particular likes to fight off sleep overtaking him. She has been fussing and griping all day.

Yeah, it ain't pretty, but Dad is not going to risk waking them up to reposition them for a better photo.

Outlet Mall Outing

 Momma negotiated to buy some used baby stuff from a seller near the outlet mall, and since she "needed" a new wallet, the New Family decided to head over to the mall. Hey, they have to enjoy it since Mom is using all of her accrued vacation time.

Mom poses with Liesel at the mall.

Dad gets to carry his boy.

Lunch in the park.

They had the place to themselves.

Just missed a smile by a second.

Let's Discuss

SO there appears to be some controversy over baby bottle tenders (holders, bottle propers, etc.). While researching bottle feeders, the New Family Dad came across some interesting and strong opinions both in favor and against using them. Some claim they are dangerous devices that can result in death. Others claim they are necessary sanity savers.

Dangerous baby killer or safe device when used with supervision? (Image source: Amazon.com)

Naturally, the division splits along the lines of users, responsible, informed, consenting adults, and non-users, concerned parents and professionals believing the device could result in death and so should be banned.

Users, typically caregivers to multiples, see a bottle tender as more than a convenience; it is a sanity saver. The most popular positive review for the bottle tender shown in the picture above makes the point that feeding multiples is a challenge that justifies their use. The user notes that she is not leaving her children unattended while in use. Another writes that the holder allows him to respond more rapidly to his twins when they decide they need to feed at the same time.

Nonuser's arguments, represented by the arguments made by a NICU nurse and mother herself, claim the danger for outweigh the convenience. She claims that her patient died after aspirating formula from a propped bottle. She continues that babies should always be fed by hand and supported in an upright position. Further, she claims to sometimes care for three babies simultaneously, so she understands the challenges parents of multiples face.

As typically happens in comment threads where there is sharp disagreement between two or more divergent interests, one nonuser commenter alleged some mothers are simply too stupid to use the bottle tender safely.She concedes that they could be used safely, but some parents won't.

Here are the New Family Dad's observations about the bottle feeders.

1. Any unsupervised baby is unsafe relative to one that is closely monitored irrespective of the device used or activity performed. If you prop a bottle in your infants mouth and leave, you are increasing the risk of death or injury to an unacceptably high degree.
2. The patient that died from aspirating formula was likely unmonitored for an extended period of several minutes (or more), otherwise the parent would have intervened likely saving the child's life. It is unacceptable to fault the device for the irresponsibility of the parent.  
3. The standard of care in a NICU or pediatric nursery is driven by motivations different from the ones that drive the rules parents create when considering and implementing their home standard of care. Hospitals consider, amongst other concerns, their liability should they incur a reportable incident and have not followed standard practices. Parents have no such liability, rather they have to consider the risks and benefits given the challenges they face. So, what should be standard operating procedure in maternity will, and should, differ from the standard at home.
4. It is conceit to assert that someone else's practices are stupid. This is a disagreement created from conflicting values. Each party reached their decision based on whatever criteria is important to them. Their actions may appear stupid to another if he is unaware of what drove the one's decision. If, to borrow and expand on an example, you have two or more kids screaming to be fed, you are exhausted, you are alone, and you will be present for the entirety of the feeding, then propping a bottle is smart. 
5. The psychological and emotional health of caregiver and baby is an important decision factor for parents considering adopting a bottle tender. Anything that calms baby faster while requiring less effort from parent is extremely valuable and outweighs the marginal risk of baby choking while having her bottle propped. Less emotional energy expended enduring dueling screams is then available to share with baby.
6. The physical energy of parent is not limitless. Parents and nurses both get tired, but nurses get to go home at the end of their shift, parents are still on duty. Again, less energy available for parent is less energy available for parenting. Anything that saves energy is beneficial. 

The New Family Dad, for the reasons outlined above, is not persuaded against propping a bottle to feed the Twins, but is open to argument against it. You can leave your opinion in the comments below or email them.  

Welcome Back!

THE New Family welcomes back regular readers and welcomes new readers. You are why they are here. Thank you for your viewership, comments, e-mails, support and well wishes.

If you keep coming, they'll keep publishing. And the more frequently you visit, the more motivated they are to share content.

Dad looks to see which posts are most popular by number of page view requests. He is here to serve and will serve up similar content to the most popular posts. So vote with your mouse, click those links!

Bottoms Up!

Bottoms Up!

Dad captured this while EJ slept. His butt couldn't get any higher without him waking up to squirm.

Liesel Smiles! Updated.

These are the first pictures captured of Liesel's smile! Mom objected to the untrimmed photo previously uploaded, so Dad trimmed it.

The onesie was a gift from grandma. It says, "This is my little black dress!" Click the photo to enlarge.

She smiles! Like the socks? They look like Mary Janes.

Willowbrook Outing

Willowbrook is the latest preserve the New Family visited.

Mom is eager to see butterflies

Got Coy?

Mom poses in the butterfly observatory...

...and requires Dad to do the same.

Foxy fox.

The conditions were perfect. They enjoyed clear skies, temps in the low 70's, and comfortable humidity.

The turkey vulture got their attention as they finished viewing him and and began to move on. He must have wanted his picture taken. He made a noise and when they turned to investigate, he was posing.

"Are you Woodsy?" "Who?" "Woodsy the Owl." "Who?" "Oh, never mind." "Who?"

It must be a toll bridge. Dad didn't get across without paying a kiss to the toll taker.

Mallards at play.

Wildflowers.

This hidden spot, surrounded by foliage on four sides, is accessible by a narrow trail.

According to their web page

Willowbrook Wildlife Center is an education center and a wildlife rehabilitation center operated by the Forest Preserve District of DuPage County. We are located on a 50-acre preserve in Glen Ellyn and are open to the public 7 days a week from 9:00 a.m. to 5:00. Permanently disabled eagles, songbirds, owls, raccoons, and foxes are just a few of the 80 native Illinois animals on display here.

Feeding

Liesel likes a bottle, as does her brother. The problem is that she likes to sip on it for long time. Unlike her brother who can gulp down 4 oz. in as many minutes (and then on occasion require more), she likes to take her time and savor the flavor of the milk. This period is often longer than Mom or Dad wants to hold the bottle for her, and since she isn’t holding it for herself, that means effort beyond what they can provide for protracted periods.

She needs the calories, but feeding a child shouldn’t be a P90X isometric exercise. Think of holding your arm at 80 degrees extended for 45 minutes with a weight at the end of it. At first, it is easy, but it quickly becomes a challenge and when your biceps and forearms begin burning. Thus, the New Family Parents came up with the following solution.

Don’t worry, she was monitored the entire time. And, while it beats a $20 bottle holder, she did get hot. So if anyone knows of someone willing to sell a bottle tender or two (like this http://www.bottlesnugglers.com/) to the Parents cheap, leave a comment below.