Three Ps

IT is amazing how a smile can make your heart melt- even if it is just them expelling gas.

Dad is swiftly earning his merit badges and wearing them proudly. He currently holds two of the three Ps (puked on, peed on, and pooped on) given freely and unexpectedly by the children. He missed the last by less than a second having just closed a fresh diaper moments before she offered to complete the trio.

Oh well, maybe next time.

Dad has closely observed them for signs of development. He eagerly awaits the time when one or both will recognize him as a unique individual instead of just another warm body cuddling, feeding, bouncing, and interacting with them. So far, neither demonstrates an ability to differentiate between their parents. Strangers also easily earn the same response given to Mom and Dad.

They do sometimes respond to each other’s cries. Thrice now, when one awakes and cries for a feeding, changing, or need for attention, the other also wakes and begins to cry as well. Other loud noises, bright lights, or activity (except picking them up) does not currently stimulate them.

This "expert," pushing his book, differs in his opinion. Sorry the kids don't comply with his wisdom.

They are spending increasing time awake with their eyes open and looking around while not engaged in feeding, burping or soothing. More time here means up to about 30seconds. The parents read that they are unable yet to focus on objects even inches from their face, but can see light and dark as well as some colors.

Dad thought he could differentiate between them based only on the sound of their cries, until he recently misidentified the culprit. EJ sounded a startled cry for attention previously only made by Liesel. L got furious when Dad picked her up and woke her from her slumber when she was not at fault. Dad was then rewarded with two screaming children.

The New Family parents have slowly introduced them to the outside world. So far the kids have been largely unaware of it since they are usually sleeping when everyone ventures out. At the rate they are developing and encountering new experiences, they’ll not likely play on the softball team this year. 

Next year doesn't look so good either.

With the summer heat, Mom and Dad have swapped the swaddles for onesies. Little ones can overheat and she isn't shy about letting everyone know when she is too hot, or about anything else for that matter.

Leisel and EJ spend some quality time together in the bassinet sharing the love. Okay, they did not like it at all. But they better get used to sharing. They're going to be doing a lot of it.

What to Really Expect when you are Expecting

The well informed New Family parents read that newborns are supposed to sleep about 16 hours out of every 24. Based on their experience, they agree. But their tendency was to think that this time was distributed in chunks resembling what an adult sleep/wake pattern would look like.

The newborns do spend roughly two thirds of their time sleeping- but instead of sleeping 16 continuous hours out of every 24, their pattern more closely resembles sleeping 2 out of every 3 hours. And sometimes they only sleep 2 out of every 3 minutes.

Therefore, while their cumulative sleep time may total 2/3 of a day, their wakefulness (and attendant needs) requires more parental attention and time than just 8 hours. That is the secret first time parenting books don’t fully convey to new parents.

Below are some charts graphically depicting the situation. Positive values indicate sleep at that particular portion of the hour. Negative values indicate wakefulness. You can click on any of them to enlarge them.

The first, above, represents what may come to mind when a parent-to-be reads that newborns sleep 16 out of 24 hours per day. This is an idealized situation. Any parent would love to have a newborn sleep from midnight through 4:30 p.m. (16:30).

This next one, above, is a representation of the actual sleep pattern of our firstborn. Try to find more than a few consecutive hours to sleep there. He sleeps a lot, true, but not nearly as long as he will when he has his own kids. (Actually he'll  probably find himself sleeping a lot less when has kids. Heh-he, sweet revenge.)

Above is a representation of the sleep pattern of his twin sister, Liesel. It is similar to her brother's, but out of phase, meaning that she is not necessarily awake or asleep just because he is awake or asleep.

Laying the two over each other, above, results in the combined sleep/wake time of each. The longest length of uninterrupted sleep for both is about 2 hours and 10 minutes.

While awake, the twins demand attention in the form of feeding, changing, soothing, or just an audience to complain about tummy gas.So the parents forgo more than sleep, they also relinquish other productive pursuits.

It makes Dad wonder how single parents (e.g. Nadya Suleman) cope with multiples.

It is a labor of love, but an exhausting one. 

Remember Making Silhouettes as a Kid?

In kindergarten or first grade, Dad had his silhouette drawn. He then had fun coloring it. It was amazing to him to see a profile view of himself, one he had never seen before.

Well technology has replaced the crayon, at least here. One day the twins may look upon their own profile with similar wonder. 

These were rendered from pictures taken yesterday while they slept. Compressing them to fit the blog's size limits for photos caused some loss of detail. In the originals, their faces have much sharper edges. But then the originals are twice the twins actual head size. These are about 1/2 actual size. The artifacts in the periphery are the result of the the photo border placed around the picture. It is visible in the first picture in the upper left hand corner. In the lower, it appears as a small dot.

Update: Mrs. H asks, "What is that white thing on her portrait?" That is an identifier, an artistic insertion designed to clue the audience in on which child is which. Liesel's nickname was inspired by the character Liesl von Trapp from The Sound of Music. So fittingly, it represents edelweiss tucked in her ear.

Further update: Mom says it should go. What do you think? Leave a comment below.

Happy Two Weeks Old!

The twins are two weeks old today. Where has the time gone? The last two weeks are a blur. Waking hours were filled with feeding, changing, cuddling, and crying. Even Dad’s dreams were filled with the same.

Some of the those dreams were actual baby cries while Mom was on duty by herself. Dad had to comfort himself that Mom would retrieve him to assist her if necessary. With that he turned over, covered his eyes from the infiltrating sunlight (read whyhere), and got a few more minutes of sleep.

EJ is getting bigger. Dad can tell when he lifts him up that it takes a bit more oomph to clear the crib’s side. The boy’s limbs are also longer. He is a great eater. He loves to lay passively on his back, propped up by Dad’s leg and just suck down his milk.

Liesel isn’t growing as fast. She is still small with little evidence of growth. Unlike her brother, she likes to be in control of her feeding. She’ll bunch up her fists and “direct” the bottle, sometimes allowing it to pass her lips, at other times preventing its insertion. And when they have had enough, EJ will just fall asleep with the nipple in his mouth. She’ll loudly object until it is removed.

Parenting has been an almost all consuming job. Very little else has been accomplished. With two babies and three-hour feeding cycles, it seems that no sooner are they done with one feeding than they have to begin the next. A large part of this is time is spent after feeding them. Following feeding they burp and soothe them before putting them down. This has taken as long as 90 minutes post feeding. This is tiresome.

As result of the prolonged burp and soothe time, Dad tested a different approach today with great success. Flying in the face of currently recommended practices, he place them both tummy down in their crib after burping. They were both sleeping peacefully within a minute.

One minute is < 90 minutes. And qualitatively, it is much more peaceful.

Yep, Dad was willing to incur the wrath of the purveyors of SIDS doom to test his theory and, the kids did not die. In fact, the position seemed to alleviate many of the symptoms preventing sound sleep in both kids, like hiccups, gasps, gurgles, and inexplicable arm spasms.

To be sure, Dad sat next to them for twenty minutes monitoring their every breath, hiccup, and burble ready to intervene and employ his newly acquired infant CPR skills in the event that their breathing stopped. But it never did. Dad thinks that the many books, healthcare professionals, and websites offering “back is best” sleeping advice failed to fully inform him, instead preferring to over simplify a complicated matter. Dad can foresee how tummy sleeping might increase the risk of SIDS, especially if baby went unmonitored for extended periods, but also believes the professional/expert position is overstated.

Dad has observed many professionals across multiple disciplines undermine their credibility by overstating their case and by failing to communicate an appropriate degree of risk in measured terms, c.f. AGW.

So now they flout learned opinion by microwaving bottles and putting infants to sleep on their bellies. They’re horrible by putting their precious ones at risk, aren’t they. What’s next? Foregoing immunizations? Riding on Mom’s lap in the car? Tricycling without helmets? Naw, not likely. They’re more cautious than that. They’re willing to adapt as circumstances dictate, but would never intentionally incur greater risk without commensurate benefit. These two issues were clear.

Is this child endangerment? Or...

...is it an excellent technique to soothe baby post feeding?

The airway is unrestricted. Breaths are regular. They are closely monitored.

And the benefits of a quick turn around from feeding to sleeping are clear.

 Have a different or concurring opinion? Post below.

Full Time Job

THE New Family would like to recognize regular readers Donna and Heather for their continued support. Thank you for your encouragement. If you like what you see here, let Dad and Mom know, then share it with others that might enjoy it! Just copy and paste the link http://jheehanasik.blogspot.com/in an e-mail or hit any of the share buttons following a post. Also, while they love the feedback via e-mail, they also welcome comments following a post and you can even leave them anonymously. Also, stop by frequently. Kids grow up fast and the web site will keep up on their changes, so you'll need to keep up too (reading the text fast won't compensate for not visiting regularly, sorry).

The intensity of minding the twin’s needs has subsided a bit, but the effort is ever present. A feeding, for example, may only take 20 minutes, but then burping, holding, and tending to cries for various reasons (hiccups) can easily double that time. Doing that for two, every three hours, takes a serious chunk out of one’s day. Right now, not many other chores are completed by the on-duty parent. Mom has a more demanding schedule than Dad as she is keeping a pumping schedule that requires her to spend 20 minutes exclusively on the task every three hours. Plus, she has to interrupt her sleep at least once during rest to complete the task, something Dad would loathe to do.

Dad is a teensy bit more productive and lovin’ the Moby Wrap. Daughter gets the holding she craves for peaceful sleep. Dad has his hands free to work and is undistracted by constant fidgetiness. Dad doesn’t love the feminine look so much, and though it is brown, he’d prefer to see one in a more masculine color and design. After all, Dad is a man and not a Dad/Mom. 

No there are no pictures of Dad wearing it. Why'd you ask? No, ain't gonna happen. Don't ask again. Okay, maybe next post, but only if your good.

Anyway, parenting the twins is a full time job keeping us both very busy. They await the time when the twins will sleep through the night so they can return to some state of normalcy and catch up on work.

So, now a few photos.

Before Moby, this is the only position Liesel would relax in while Dad held her. Her arm is between his thumb and pointer finger. Cute for a few seconds to snap a picture, but tiring after a few minutes. Plus he needs his left hand on the keyboard to work.

Liesel is done feeding. Parents can tell she is done when more milk leaks out of her mouth than makes it down to her stomach, plus, her limbs are limp and she is tranquil. She'll sleep now for 2 ~ 3 hours.

Limp hand = well fed baby. Tight fist = keep feeding.

Tiny Feet

THESE pictures don't do them justice, but do show the incredible detail of infant feet. While the rest of their bodies are obviously immature, their feet (and hands) are much like what they will be as adults. They are proportionate to the rest of their bodies and have all of the folds, wrinkles, and patterns they will have as adults.

Laid back and easy going, EJ posed for the pics. Liesel was a little too fidgety to film clearly.

The Crying Chorus

UNTIL the other night, the feed and change cycle had been sequential. One child would rouse, be fed, and changed and then the next child would rouse for feeding and changing. This works well when only one parent is on duty as is the case between 9:00 p.m. and 9:00 a.m. Last night, however, the inevitable happened. Both children needed feeding simultaneously. This was fine and expected as the parents are trying to get them on the same schedule anyway (hard to do when has a larger appetite than the other and can go longer between feedings).

If you don’t know the joy of trying to prepare for, feed, burp and change two infants at the same time, you are really missing out on a challenging experience. It could be an Olympic sport in that it requires dexterity and balance surpassing that of most ball sports. Plus, the two part screaming harmony is more stressful than opposing team fan jeers are to a basketball player when he is trying to shoot a free throw.

Their cries stoked an acute urgency in Dad. As result of this pressure and his novice squirmy-worm handling skills, he had a brief scare when trying to wrangle both into his arms for transport from the crib to the couch. It only took a moment of precarious balance in conjunction with her reflexive arm spasm for him to lose his grip on her. She is fine, cribs are soft, but it scared him more than her and sent him into thoughtful reflection. Losing control is something that happens to others, those people you see and hear about on the news, not him, not Mr. Conscientious.

However, the sentinel event did happen. Thus, he adopted new rules to prevent further mishaps, part of which involves earplugs, the other involves handling them one at a time. Once fed and soothed, peace and tranquility returned and a deep satisfaction set in. And they are so cute when they are quietly sleeping.

On another topic, Mom and Dad have tried almost all of the equipment pictured in an older post. Neither child really seems to like it. Neither swinging, bouncing, nor rocking are as soothing as simply being held. Liesel does enjoy her pacifier as long as it stays in or until she falls asleep. EJ liked it at first, but has since abandoned it since it doesn’t deliver food. He gives it four or five good sucks and if there is no milk, he spits it out and won’t take it again.

They are both growing, in weight and appetite.  Mom is recovering nicely and her milk production is increasing in response to demand. It is still nowhere near what it should be, but every little bit helps. Jake the cat misses individualized attention and is no fan the crying chorus, but he is doing as well as can be expected given the circumstances and his declining health. Dad, author of these posts, is fine. The night shift suits him well, but he has not kept up with his workout routine, and the ice cream and other high carb convenience foods he has consumed over the last week and half are making the scale angry.

As an aside, necessity is the mother of invention. Having little other fresh veg in the house, Dad decided to chop and combine romaine, spinach and cilantro into a salad mix. Mmm, mmm. He’ll do that again.

The parents are still eager to venture out into public for more than a doctor’s appointment or a few minutes meeting and greeting neighbors with their little rock stars. Now that the hot weather has subsided for a few days, that might happen sooner than later. It’ll be an exciting learning experience for all.

Time for Closeups

EJ does his impression of Munch's The Scream.

Liesel's big blue eyes

EJ's storm cloud grey eyes. Click to enlarge.

90 Minutes

DAD has enjoyed a sustained 90 minutes of uninterrupted free time. Mom has ventured out on her own to return stuff we don’t need and get stuff that we do. There are no crying babies, no dirty diapers, no mixing formula, no washing bottles, no feeding the Fussy One or the Other One. Nothing but peace, and time to catch up on all of those others chores that need doin’. Unfortunately his brain cannot recall all that needs doin’.

Where’s that to do list? Ah yes, here it is. Umm, hmm. That one can wait, the other doesn’t need to be done today, and the third won’t get done. (Continuing) That’s not important, that can’t be done while Mom is away. That item was done (sort of), that one- well we’ll see, and that last one missed its deadline.

So what to do at 2:30 in the afternoon with nothing else to do knowing full well that in fifteen to twenty minutes time Dad is going to get real busy with another feed change cycle?

Power nap. Zzzzzzz.

New Events and Experiences

WHEN we get a baby sitter, we’re gonna sneak off to the bedroom, slip beneath the sheets and, you know…get some sleep!

Today, Mom convinced Dad of the merits of Kangaroo care, i.e. the merits of Dad providing the bare chest for the kids to nestle on. Reluctantly Dad agreed. Naturally, a camera appeared and photos were taken. They will not be posted. Nor will Dad ever do anything that could result in the photos being used for blackmail.

Dad actually found the experience pleasant save for the daggers masquerading as fingernails digging into his chest. EJ and Liesel will be receiving manicures later on today. Additionally, newborns are incredibly strong for their size. If Dad could match their grip strength scaled up to his hand size, he could easily crush a grapefruit with one hand.

Mom and Dad bundled up the kids in receiving blankets and ventured out to say “Hi” to eager neighbors. Everyone was excited for them. The warm weather was actually quite pleasant. The bright light illuminated their eyes clearly. She has her Daddy’s blues. EJ has steal grey eyes that will likely turn brown.

They tried some new bottles designed to slow the flow of milk and eliminate air in an attempt to prevent gas and hiccups. While the slower flow did prevent leakage around the side of Liesel’s mouth, they both still had gas and hiccups. The inserts to these bottles add a layer of complexity to their cleaning, assembly and storage. They’ll continue trying them for a reasonable period, but if they aren’t effective they’ll go back to the cheap bottles. If any readers have any recommendations on bottle brands and or feeding positions that can help minimize gas and eliminate hiccups, please share.

EJ learned a new game today. Mom checked his diaper, cleaned him, and buttoned him back up. He promptly filled it. She changed it, cleaned him, and buttoned him back up. He promptly refilled it. She changed it, cleaned him, and buttoned him back up. He then threw up all over himself. See how easy fun can be?