What to Really Expect when you are Expecting

The well informed New Family parents read that newborns are supposed to sleep about 16 hours out of every 24. Based on their experience, they agree. But their tendency was to think that this time was distributed in chunks resembling what an adult sleep/wake pattern would look like.

The newborns do spend roughly two thirds of their time sleeping- but instead of sleeping 16 continuous hours out of every 24, their pattern more closely resembles sleeping 2 out of every 3 hours. And sometimes they only sleep 2 out of every 3 minutes.

Therefore, while their cumulative sleep time may total 2/3 of a day, their wakefulness (and attendant needs) requires more parental attention and time than just 8 hours. That is the secret first time parenting books don’t fully convey to new parents.

Below are some charts graphically depicting the situation. Positive values indicate sleep at that particular portion of the hour. Negative values indicate wakefulness. You can click on any of them to enlarge them.

The first, above, represents what may come to mind when a parent-to-be reads that newborns sleep 16 out of 24 hours per day. This is an idealized situation. Any parent would love to have a newborn sleep from midnight through 4:30 p.m. (16:30).

This next one, above, is a representation of the actual sleep pattern of our firstborn. Try to find more than a few consecutive hours to sleep there. He sleeps a lot, true, but not nearly as long as he will when he has his own kids. (Actually he'll  probably find himself sleeping a lot less when has kids. Heh-he, sweet revenge.)

Above is a representation of the sleep pattern of his twin sister, Liesel. It is similar to her brother's, but out of phase, meaning that she is not necessarily awake or asleep just because he is awake or asleep.

Laying the two over each other, above, results in the combined sleep/wake time of each. The longest length of uninterrupted sleep for both is about 2 hours and 10 minutes.

While awake, the twins demand attention in the form of feeding, changing, soothing, or just an audience to complain about tummy gas.So the parents forgo more than sleep, they also relinquish other productive pursuits.

It makes Dad wonder how single parents (e.g. Nadya Suleman) cope with multiples.

It is a labor of love, but an exhausting one.